Black White and Blue

In a dream world I wouldn’t be me. Infact, I probably wouldn’t be a person. I’d be able to fly, to soar, in a midnight blue sky with small bright stars lighting my way.

No bother, no order to please

No rules to obey, nothing need say

I look up at the starry expanse; I feel no blood on my hands

I look to the right at the flying bird, my bright blue companion unsaid and unheard

On my left is an empty space, of someone yet to join the chase

Down below a civil glow, they have nothing to prove and nothing to show.

I fly on with the bird, not fast nor slow. It doesn’t leave. it shall not go.

The empty space besides me calls. The little height I had gained now falls.

I’m tempted to drop down to the glow. Plunge back into what I know.

Forget my height and simply dive. It’s closest to death when you feel most alive.

I need to search, I need to find, I need to leave my truth behind

I need to get back in the air. I need to love and forget all care.

It is simple, such a complex thing, I need to locate what the present won’t bring.

I need to be hypnotized, by those dark and fiery eyes.

Just to find another soul to match this night as black as coal.

So dark and deep and sinister one shies away, craving for dangerous play

The silent bird looks my way. its eyes convey what it cannot say.

His look will not make me cower. I know what I want in this hour.

I need right now that other soul, to guide blind me, through this rabbit hole.

I need his evil and his sin, I need his darkness, I need my kin.

I need the black to my white; I want him by my side tonight.

I want him to fly and lie with me, but he’s too far to touch and to far to see.

I loose my balance and my sight; to stay asleep and keep my flight

But without a yin, the yang will sink: nothing left to show but a broken link

Schizophrenia

The words arnt enough

The actions dont suffice

The message doesnt penetrate

Your armour cold as ice

The philosophy goes unheard

The theology wont stand

In desperate attempts to reach you

I sink ignored into the sand

No pressure or reasoning has effect

There is nothing that I can enforce

And you sit innocently in the corner

And there is not a line i didn't cross.

And you still sit there, vacant expression and all

Lost and afraid and persecuted by your invisible demon

In awkward silent stance like your rag doll

In pain and delusion without reason.

I fall.

You sit there in silence

I cry

You don't realize you're passive violence.

I try to explain but you don't believe me

But this is not my fault

I want the best for you but thats not what you see

I loose you by default.

Now a time has come where I'm more like you

I blame science and your mother and God.

Why would they do this to me too?

Give me you, but then turn out to be fraud.

When I meet you I keep emotions cold

When I meet you I match your mute

I'm stiff and ignore the conversation turning to mould

I sometimes wonder if you meant, all along to pollute.

But being like this is the only way to deal

You're disease has infected me through loosing my love

And even though we may never heal

I'll never regret turning into what i was always secretly afraid of.

Melting into madness with you made my life even when i was persecuted and cornered.

Because, for a short while, it meant that I knew you, and I am honored.

Shakespeare tragedies

I haven't really read much Shakespeare other than what we are made to read in school, such as the merchant of Venice or Julius Caesar and Othello. i have, of course, seen the movies but i don't feel like it ever captures the same essence. It is true that the tragedies that we speak of, like romeo and Juliet or Othello do make great romances because as someone said (and i cant remember who) that the most romantic emotion is sadness. it is because they are doomed that they become more beautiful as characters and stories. if romeo and Juliet eventually ended up together, they wouldn't be an eternal love story that every girl secretly cries to while reading (or in my case watching), but the main protagonists of Taylor Swift's "love song" (i don't think she realized that romeo and Juliet don't actually end up together). Similarly it is the tragic irony of Othello, who is tricked by Iago into killing his own wife, that makes the story stand out to me. they were perfectly happy with no hitches in their relationship when Iago brain-washes Othello to convince him that she was unfaithful. and tragically, as all men do, Othello acted on a bruised ego and jumped to conclusions. i guess the concept of "open and honest discussions" or "couples therapy" hadn't really arisen at that point. But of course being the "honorable" man that he was, the only thing left to do was kill Iago and then kill himself. its almost typical.

Shakespeare, though a brilliant writer, had a strange idea of romance. where the best ending leaves the audience in tears or a constant state of "WTF" in their heads. i have always been curious as to why someone would dream to be in a Shakespeare romance. why someone would look for their "romeo", i never understand. its not exactly a good thing is it? to love someone and never be able to actually be with them. then die before you actually have a life together. isn't it better to just have a quiet normal romance, where there are no family feuds or sword fights or premature death? that doesn't make it unromantic, it just makes it normal. but to the people involved, any romance will be a whirlwind! because every relationship has complications, fights and jealousy and adventure, it just doesn't need to end in death before say the age of 60 yrs old.

Fair Desdemona

Poem based on Desdemona, from Shakespeare's play, Othello.

Fair Desdemona,

Fell in love as the spied the moor

Fair Desdemona,

Heard his tales, reveled in his tells

And then she knew for sure

Fair Desdemona,

Was inexplicably devoted to her dark knight

Fair Desdemona,

After a shrouded courtship and much impending gossip,

Gave up her maiden name in the dead of night

Fair Desdemona,

In honor of her spouse, fiercely fought

Fair Desdemona,

Betrayed her father, as he cried harder

Deception was not what he had taught

Fair Desdemona,

Fragile against the general's sooty muscled chest

Fair Desdemona,

Faithful love she displayed, she never strayed

From othello's chamber of rest

Fair Desdemona,

Her love suddenly seemed unrequited

Fair Desdemona,

received a rude little bark and a twisted remark

The affection received was now limited

Fair Desdemona,

Unaware of the implications of what she said

Fair Desdemona,

Accused of cheating, she got a beating

Though she never left blind Othello's bed

Fair Desdemona,

Honest and pure to her very last breath

Deluded Othello,

Who thought Cassio lusted her, never trusted her

Ignorent that she loved him to death.